I don't know how should I start. What should I write. Everything was mixed up. Sad, disappointed, that's what I feel. I just want to cry. Because that's the only way I can do it right now. I don't have any strength to overcome this feeling. I feel very down and giving up.
Maybe some of you did know what was happened to me. I know, some would say it just a small thing and it was me that make it looks complicated to solve. But I don't care what others want to say, because it is my feeling and it was what I have dream for a long time.
Yes, I know I'm not a brilliant student and I never been one. But everybody have their own dream that they wish one day they can get it. Same goes to me. I was struggled for about 4 years to achieve this thing. I really want to study abroad, and when I have a chance, it was me who ruined it up. I didn't pass the IELTS requirement and just managed to get band 6 whereas the requirement needs 7.
It was so frustrated. I used my own money to take the exam and I'd burden both of my parents in order to take this exam. I'm just an idiot. That what can I say. Now I don't know what should I do. Should I take the exam one more time.? I don't know. I can't make any decisions. I don't want to burden my parents more. Even now,I already give problems to them. I think I just want to giving up in further my study.
I don't have any plan B. I don't get any proper job and my contract will end soon. Yes, I'm fret. Most of my friends have been employed. Some can even buy a car. Me? Even go to work, my father sends and pick me up. I don't know how my life gonna be. Ya Allah give me strength.
To my friend Nurita, thanks for your support. I really appreciated that.