Ya Allah, give me strength to face all these trials.

Assalamualaikum.

I don't know how should I start. What should I write. Everything was mixed up. Sad, disappointed, that's what I feel. I just want to cry. Because that's the only way I can do it right now. I don't have any strength to overcome this feeling. I feel very down and giving up.

Maybe some of you did know what was happened to me. I know, some would say it just a small thing and it was me that make it looks complicated to solve. But I don't care what others want to say, because it is my feeling and it was what  I have dream for a long time.

Yes, I know I'm not a brilliant student and I never been one. But everybody have their own dream that they wish one day they can get it. Same goes to me. I was struggled for about 4 years to achieve this thing. I really want to study abroad, and when I have a chance, it was me who ruined it up. I didn't pass the IELTS requirement and just managed to get band 6 whereas the requirement needs 7.

It was so frustrated. I used my own money to take the exam and I'd burden both of my parents in order to take this exam. I'm just an idiot. That what can I say. Now I don't know what should I do. Should I take the exam one more time.? I don't know. I can't make any decisions. I don't want to burden my parents more. Even now,I already give problems to them. I think I just want to giving up in further my study.

I don't have any plan B. I don't get any proper job and my contract will end soon. Yes, I'm fret. Most of my friends have been employed. Some can even buy a car. Me? Even go to work, my father sends and pick me up. I don't know how my life gonna be. Ya Allah give me strength. 

To my friend Nurita, thanks for your support. I really appreciated that. 

Master or Phd?

Assalamualaikum.

What should i choose.? What is the best for me.? Ya Allah show me the way.

p/s: i just quit!!

The miserable part is now over, but just for a while.

Assalamualaikum

At last i can really write something as my new entry. For this past few weeks I'm really busy completing my project as the submission date of my technical paper is today. Luckily i managed to complete it right on time. Alhamdulillah. thanks to God that give me the determination to complete all the task.

Yes, i was really busy especially these past 2 days. On Monday i had 2 interviews. One is the BEL interview which is subject that i taken for this semester and another one is TPM interview. Both interviews supposed schedule at 9.am but, luckily my lecturer had gave me permission to do my interview earlier. So, i attend the interview at 8.05 am. Yes , it was too early, but i don't have any choice because my TPM interview cannot be postponed.

Talking about TPM, maybe some of you already know what it stand for. It is stand for Tenaga Pengajar Muda or Young Lecturer Scheme. I'm applying for master actually in Power system field. During the interview, there were only 2 uitm's student and the rest are come for other universities. I was nervous because i didn't expect that they will be students from others universities. I'm the 8th candidate and before me, they are all boys. So that makes me become more nervous.

Luckily, the interviewer were uitm's lecturers, so i really relief. They were Dr Wan Norainin and Dr Ngah Ramzi. They are good but Dr Ngah asked a lots of question and some of the question i didn't know how to answered it. At first i feel like really downed, but Dr Ngah was so friendly so, he didn't say anything instead he making jokes. While Dr Wan Norainin just like a mother. She always backup me, each time i don't have good answer. The interview was like 15-20 minutes.

Then after the interview, i have a presentation. Luckily, all went very well. While at night i have to struggle finishing my assignment and also the technical paper. It was miserable. I slept at 2.30 am and wake up at 7 a.m and straight away continued doing my assignment and technical paper.

Thank to God, now all were settled. Both technical paper and assignment are already submitted!!Yeah now I'm free but just for a while. Next week will be a big week since the presentation of my final year project will be held on 19/4/2011. But still i don't prepare anything yet for the presentation . I need a day off..hahahha.. Oh forgot to say, my hand phone lost. yes, I'm too careless and don't know how the hand phone can lost. But i already bought a new phone..

So now i have to focus on my presentation and thesis and not forgotten my final exam. It just left not more than a month to finish it. I just can't believe it, it's already 4 years i'm in this field. Hope i will finish it successfully!!

Sometimes we have to look to the past

Assalamualaikum

When you start being a student you tend to think, when all this gonna over? How many years does it takes to live in this miserable life as a student. But when it's over, then you will regret, that it is over. Life as a student.

There are no more holidays, no more skipping classes and no more variation. What we'll face is just the same routine every day until we get retire. At that point you will start thinking how cool to be back, being a student. A miserable life but yet had a lot of fun.

Being an engineering student is not really in my wishing list. I never thought one day I'll be here being an engineering student. But here I am right now completing my final year as an engineering student. Maybe some will says, i am lucky because i can overcome this and get through it until the end.

But sometimes i felt i had make a wrong decision in my entire life by choosing this course. I keep telling it to myself that i had make a wrong decision. But then i think, there are reasons why god make me come out with this decision. Yes, God knows what the best for you.

When looking back to the past, i realized that, before i choose this course, i had pray to God to show me what the best for me and i end up by choosing this course. And now i feel regret because i am now complaining what God had gave to me. What i have done.? I must keep going because i know, God have plan something better for me.

So lets through this life as a student. Because the time is ticking very fast. And use it as best as you can cause you will never sure either you can be in this miserable life again or not because you will start stuck with the same routine in the next maybe 30 years. Being student is a great think that ever happen in your life. Believe me!!

Everything happens come with a good reason!

Assalamualaikum

I'm feeling really stress right now. Many bad things, not really bad actually but something that I'm not comfortable with happen to me lately.

FYP??? That makes me even more stress. One of my friend in her process of doing her technical paper and me, will attend an appointment with my sv this evening. I hope everything will going well. Hopefully.

I become more stress when my external hard disk, the new one(i have two actually) make a problem..i just bought it 3 months and now it giving me a problem. so i send it back. luckily i have a 3 years warranty. I hope my HD will be OK. Hopefully.

Mine,the white one!

And last 2 days, I'm not sure, Intel called me. Yes!It's Intel. Actually they had called me several times but i didn't pick up since I'm not alert with my phone. Back to the call. They call for an interview actually. Everything going well at first until then he asked we, where do i work. So i replied, I'm still studying and will be graduate on may. Then after a few minutes conversation he said he will call me back later.

It's a bit frustrating cause I now he didn't really read my resume since i have stated there I'll graduate on May. But it's okay, because I'm not really into it. I know a lot of people want to work at company such Intel, me too but not really looking towards it. My mum said, don't look to the pay, but choose what you like and what makes you happy.

She's right, maybe God will give me a better chance next time. Who knows right.?? I believe god has a really better plan, that's why i didn't get the interview. Okay.Bye.

Let me live in my own world until i get tired of it!

Salam

I'm in my holiday right now, and i don't really have a mood to write. But i'll not leave this blog without any entry, so i think i should write something. I really have a bad time right now. That's why i give that title. Don't ask me why, because i'm not ready to tell anybody. I bet if i write it in my blog, maybe someone will read. Should i make it private.? No! If i'm not wrong, why should i private my blog, the best way is just write and express all my feeling here, but not at this moment.

Currently i'm crazy of downloading the Korean drama. Watching all the dramas, just make me feel good. I'll forget all my problem, my fyp and many more. I just hate when someone ask me, how's your progress? Have you done anything yet? My answer will definitely "No!". It was really frustrating. So please don't ask! I know, my progress a little bit late. But let it be, i don't want to think it. I just want to do what i able to do.

Watching this drama call "Marry me. Mary" makes me want to be like mary...And for sure i admire with someone in this drama. The second hero!! His name Kim Jae Wook.

In this drama he's so cool just like in drama coffee prince. I hope mary will be with him, but maybe that will be 1 out of 100..Because drama will always ending the hero and heroin. I think they should adjust that. Why can't the 2nd hero be with the heroin?? I think i should be the script writer maybe???

Wasalam

Semester break

Salam

Finally, i'm writing back! Seriously i don't have an enough time to update this blog.. Currently i'm in Shah Alam finishing this 3p program. For others, it's a semester break, but not for me. It is so sad being here while others enjoying their holiday at home.

Why i'm here?? Because i've joined one of the program that have been offered by on of the company which is call the 3P program. It's stand for "Program Pentauliahan Profesional". I took the windows 7 program and just now, i was sitting for the exam, and i passed!Thank god! I passed with score of 775/1000 and one of my classmates get it full mark!There'll be one more exam which will be held on 15 of Disember and i hope i'll pass so that i can get the certificate.

*******************************

Last weekend i've attended a weeding ceremony of my cousin and it was held in Bidor. It was great, and the ceremony went very well. We, together with my family also went to Tapah, and my twin have snap some of the pictures, but for more pictures, you all can go to her blog..click here. I can't upload here because the internet is too slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Just enjoy the picture at my twin's blog.

Wasalam

Is it possible to get Alzheimer at this age?

Salam.

First of all i want to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. So, how's your raya?For me, it's just ordinary, because many of our relatives didn't come back for this raya..But it's really good to be back home and kampung.

So, have you all ever heard about Alzheimer? I also not very familiar with this kind of disease actually, but lately something's going wrong with my memory. So, i keep thinking about this disease. It's actually a brain disease which will make you forget everything. It quite serious. Have you ever watch a movie call "A moment to remember"? It's a Korea's movie, which the story is about a man that have an Alzheimer's wife. It's really sad story, and you will shed tears if you watch the movie.

Lately, i keep forgetting many things. Seriously. There's one time, where my twin borrowed money from me, and after a few minutes she want to pay back me the money, but i asked her why she want to do so? She said that she had borrowed a money from me just now. I kind of shocked that time, cause i really don't remember that she just borrowed money from me a few minutes before.

And the things getting worse, when i even forget how to open tap's sink. Suppose i've to twist it anticlockwise, but what have i done is, i twist it clockwise. I really shocked about that, because i really don't know how it happen.

I just hope that, it is just a temporary condition. I hope so..Huhuhu...

Wasalam

Banjir 2010 yang lebih teruk dari banjir 2005

Salam

It has been long time i didn't update my blog..i'm still in exam mood right now..only two paper left before i finished this 7 semester...tapi bukan itu yang nak cita walaupun dua paper yang dah lepas macam hampeh!

Mesti semua orang dah sedia maklum tentang banjir yang berlaku sekarang ni kan??walaupun saya ni dok kat shah alam tapi tetap mengupdate banjir di Perlis. Dah xlarat nak tengok2 gambar dalam blog kawan2, and memang banjir kali ni adalah lebih teruk dari tahun 2005.

Sepanjang saya dok kat perlis, first time rumah kena banjir adalah time tahun 2005. Time tuh baru ja balik dari interview kat UTP.Nasib baik balik awal, kalau tak memang xsempat nak selamatkan apa-apa langsung. Banjir memang teruk, rumah saya memang tenggelam. Kalau dok dalam rumah takat lutut, kalau kluar rumah takat paha..

Tapi rupanya, itu bukanlah yang terburuk. Tahun ni merupakan yang terburuk, namun kami bernasib baik sebabnya dah pindah rumah baru kat Padang Pauh. Tapi tuh pun naek air, nasib baek umah tinggi, so xmasuk umah cuma kat luar ja la yang banjir. Tapi dari gambar2 yang saya tengok, memang banjir kali ni teruk..

Paling teruk terjejas bandar Kangar...Sebabnya, empangan tasuh telah dibuka kerana melepasi tahap bahaya...nasib xpecah, kalau pecah, memang satu perlis banjir la jawabnya. Sekolah lama, sek derma pun tenggelam, kiranya library, the store, bank and tempat kerja ayah saya semuanya dinaiki air..

I have some videos that are taken by my brother.

Empangan Timah Tasoh yang telah dibuka sebab dah sampai tahap bahaya.

Dekat depan pejabat ayah saya jua berdekatan dengan sekolah derma, library,cimb ngan the store.

Ni pulak gambar kat masjid raja, dekat dengan telekom and jalan besar nak balik rumah saya.

Final exam semester 7

Salam

"Ya Allah, permudahkanlah setiap urusanku dan perkenankanlah segala doaku"

Saya akan menempuh final exam pada

23/10 - Power System 2

1/11 - Power Utilization

7/11 - Business Management

10/11 - Power Electronic

Semoga segalanya dipermudahkan. Friends, wish me luck. I really need to perform well in this final exam...

Wasalam

Tuhan bayar tunai

Salam

Sedih betul hari ni...Malas nak tulis panjang2..Tengok ja gambar kat bawah

Result Test 1 Power U

Result test 2 power u

Inilah hasil daripada orang yang xstudy betol2. You deserve it!!! I have to struggle for my final.!!

Wasalam

How should i describe?

Salam

As i mentioned before today i had a test, power electronic test. When i start to think again about the test, i just want to cry. It was really disappointed me. I have made many,many, and many mistakes. I feel really down right now. I don't know how my result gonna be. I really feel down, when one of my friend, said that i have used a wrong formula right after the test. Ok, i know that you are right, and you don't need to tell me that i'm wrong and show me how to use the right formula, because i'm not as clever as you are. I just want to cry right now...

******************

2 more weeks is my final exam for this semester. i don't know i'm ready for it or not. i just keep thinking about the test and i know, that's not good for me. but, that's me. that's my weakness. once i made a mistakes in my test or exam, i keep think of it over and over again. it is a really bad attitude.

what i want to do now, just focusing on my final exam. this is my final year here, and i really hope i can perform as best as i can. i really hope that one day, to achieve the ANC award is not just a dream but a reality. it is a 'big' dream that everybody in UiTM wants.. I really hope i'm the one among the others.

Wasalam

Food poisoning?

Salam

Yes, the title has explained everything. I have suffered from food poisoning. It was really painful, and until now i don't know what kind of food i ate that caused me for food poisoning. for 2 consecutive days i had diarrhea. Everything i ate, will come out. I don't even see a doctor because i know, doctor will give me air garam. and i know,i will never drink that air garam, because the taste just makes me want to vomit out. I've ate the pil chikiteaun and it just work for a couple of hours. My mom said, drink the 100 plus, i've also done it, but it still doesn't works. But after 2 days having a bad day, today i feel much better from the previous day.hopefully i'll get better soon.

Unexpected Ramadhan

Salam

5.am this morning, i safely arrived in Kangar. Home sweet home..It's really good to be home, even i know many works waiting when i come home. But it doesn't bother me at all. after had a very rush 'sahur' (wonder why? i arrived at bus station around 5 am, and my brother took me around 5.30am, and subuh will be around 5.54 and we arrived home about 10 minutes before subuh). so we eat as fast as we can..alhamdulillah..dapat jugak makan nasi mak masak.

As i expected, many things to do. Do the laundry, all the cleaning stuff and not forgotten 'anyam ketupat'..but this year, i didn't do the 'anyam ketupat' b'coz my brother and my twin did it. so i just doing all the laundry and cleaning. it was very tired. and me, with my brother baked a pizza for buka puasa. luckily all the pizza was finished!!!

*************************************

Wi'm very happy to get home, some sad news just came. i've noticed this year of Ramadhan many sad things happen to me. fight with my friend and twin, was a very sad things happened in my life. i never thought it could happened in this blessing Ramadhan. We never have a fight like this before. Luckily everything went as before. No more fighting but sometimes i do feel sad with everything that came out from her mouth. But for me, just be patient.

When I came home, two more sad things happen. My auntie that i called mak chaq(xtau nak eja macam mana) was hospitalized. it really sad to hear that. hari raya just 1 day more, and now she was hospitalized. how can we celebrating the raya when she's sick. i hope she will get better soon. insyaallah

Another sad things, my 'pak su' was diagnosed with lung cancer, stage 4. i was very shocked when i heard about that news. i've meet him during Lina's convocation and he not showed any signs of his illness. I don't know what should i say. I'm speechless when got that news. i just hope the best for him.

"Ya Allah, terlalu banyak dugaan yang kau berikan pada aku dan orang yang aku sayangi di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini. Semoga kami semua sentiasa bersabar dengan segala dugaanMu. Jadikanlah kami diantara orang-orang yang bersabar. Sesungguhnya setiap dugaan yang kau turunkan, pasti mempunyai hikmah disebaliknya."

Wasalam