Assalamualaikum.
I don't know how should I start. What should I write. Everything was mixed up. Sad, disappointed, that's what I feel. I just want to cry. Because that's the only way I can do it right now. I don't have any strength to overcome this feeling. I feel very down and giving up.
Maybe some of you did know what was happened to me. I know, some would say it just a small thing and it was me that make it looks complicated to solve. But I don't care what others want to say, because it is my feeling and it was what I have dream for a long time.
Yes, I know I'm not a brilliant student and I never been one. But everybody have their own dream that they wish one day they can get it. Same goes to me. I was struggled for about 4 years to achieve this thing. I really want to study abroad, and when I have a chance, it was me who ruined it up. I didn't pass the IELTS requirement and just managed to get band 6 whereas the requirement needs 7.
It was so frustrated. I used my own money to take the exam and I'd burden both of my parents in order to take this exam. I'm just an idiot. That what can I say. Now I don't know what should I do. Should I take the exam one more time.? I don't know. I can't make any decisions. I don't want to burden my parents more. Even now,I already give problems to them. I think I just want to giving up in further my study.
I don't have any plan B. I don't get any proper job and my contract will end soon. Yes, I'm fret. Most of my friends have been employed. Some can even buy a car. Me? Even go to work, my father sends and pick me up. I don't know how my life gonna be. Ya Allah give me strength.
To my friend Nurita, thanks for your support. I really appreciated that.
:(
ReplyDeleteTidurlah di awal malam,
Andai tersedar disepertiga malam..
Dekatilah diri mu dengan Empunya sifat Maha Pengasih dan Maha Penyayang,
Luahkan segala keresahan dan kesedihan dalam hati kepadaNya,
Mudah-mudahan memperoleh ketenangan dan kelapangan di sana..
InsyaAllah...
Jangan berputus asa, you are still young ;)
Don't make urself influenced by others Atiq ;)
Smile alwayz ;D
aku juga tak ada proper job lagi.
ReplyDeleteaku juga masih menyusahkan mak bapak lagi.
aku juga mahu sambung belajar oversea macam kau,
satu hari nanti.
dan aku rasa situasi aku lebih teruk nak dibandingkan kau.(erk.emo.sori)
mungkin rezeki kau bukan harini. mungkin bulan depan, mungkin tahun depan, mungkin juga 10 tahun lagi. setiap apa yang berlaku tu ada sebabnya. Tuhan nak uji kau rasa susah dulu dekat malaysia. Cari pengalaman dulu, rasa perit susah payah dulu, rasa macam2 dulu.
ada rezeki nanti insyaAllah, jangankan oversea, bulan pun kau mampu pergi.
peace yaw :)
Salam Atiq!
ReplyDeleteMaybe i just don't understand on what you are going through but He knows well (:
Maybe this is His way to show you that He has better plans for u and His love for you is much greater than your disappointments(:
So cheer up Atiq cause there are so much beauty in life that u need to treasure and don't worry you will be able to go oversea when He says that it is the right time for you (:
Gambatte!!!
Assalamualaikum.
ReplyDeleteHey, dont be upset. You still got long way to go.
Go take the exams once again. InsyaAllah, this time you will score more. Aim for the moon and maybe you'll reach the sky or hit the stars.
Naim :)